To Be or Not to Be

This site is a work in progress

HEALth in mind

on January 31, 2014

Temper is the #1 thing you can’t get rid of by losing it

No matter how you feel.
Get up, dress up, show up
and never give Up
~Regina Brett~
Another day to make a difference in this world and what happens I think I might have blown it. How could I have managed that?Probably had to do with my attitude towards someone else’s stuff. That’s right, I said it, someone else’s stuff!. I for one have been hibernating but thought I better get in to see the Nurse Practitioner for my annual check in. Health Inclined, HEALth in mind that’s exactly it, that’s the ticket! I’m not an expert in the medical field, only having worked in it for several years, but I do know this.

Why then on this Mental Health awareness day of all days, do you find yourself inclined to treat me this way. I had some things written down to help me remember what I needed to share. You say to me “You only have half an hour for your visit, so pick two of the most important things on your list. We don’t have enough time to go through all of it today.” Cut to the chase, I’m feeling displaced. Wow! It just hit me like a slap in the face, with a tone so cold and uncaring,it left a bitter taste. Is it possible, you too are having a bad day?

to nurse

I did not realize I was interrupting your day. Just give me what I need and I’ll be on my way. When I tell you what’s wrong, that something isn’t right, just listen to me! How can you continue to interrogate me with questions of query, trying to answer them ever so quickly is making me weary. I start to think, “why did I come?”. Then this wave of uneasiness, anxiety, and grief start to come over me and then I can’t speak or think. Is that part of it…not being on the meds? Speaking of meds, I tell you I stopped them and you look at me with eyes that despise. Was it the last statement that broke our client/clinician link? What do you think?

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment” ~Dorothy Nevill

My expectations of this visit turning to sour milk, it’s no wonder I don’t like the taste. All the same questions and repeated tests, that left me feeling worse than when I came in.  Accusing tones of voice while forcing my ligaments, limbs and joints. Doubting my insight of my own body and mind. Really you weren’t very kind. Your medical books say “I’m too young” to be experiencing “this” or is “this” your own personal reality to it? Shouldn’t you have a list of symptoms to share with your clients for cases just like “this”.

“Be an Encourager.The world has plenty of critics already”.

As much as I wanted to get upset and angry I kept my cool. I answered your questions accordingly as best as I could. I  tried to understand what was happening to me and didn’t feel very good. It was like you didn’t want to take the time to look,learn and listen, to try  help me out even if you could. You give me a quick reprieve with a requisition for the lab and x-ray. “This should suffice” you say, “do these first and then we’ll see” as you show me on my way. She really doesn’t believe me!

“Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not”

I wish I had abided by the above quote when I left your office and on my way home; I did just the opposite and groaned. But I didn’t stop there I continued on until everyone, and I mean everyone heard my plight. Which of course made me wanna fight. A phone call, a letter; something to spite.I thought of all the things I could have said to stand up for myself and left it to social networking instead.


Hence the appointment to check up on a healthy brain.I guess my lessons are these:

  • trust yourself to know yourself
  • you are your own best HEALer
  • find alternative therapies  that suit you or get a second opinion
  • when the message you send out is not the message received that is miscommunication
  • train your mind to see the good in every situation

And so it is with parting wisdom that I share this;



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: